Could you wake up in another place and be a completely different person? If so, then what is it that makes us so set in our ways? We act the same day in, day out. The tough guy, the nerd, the wise guy, the emo, and the guy that thinks his dick is “this big”. We have all encountered them and what gets me every time is their sheer consistency. Four years ago if you had asked my friends how they would describe me they would most likely say, he’s a nice guy, somewhat shy especially around women, and he certainly lacks some confidence. Well, needless to say this was me four years ago, but surprisingly not all the time. Admittedly I have changed allot since then but often times I find myself slipping back into the old me. However, I realized in the end that the way I acted and my behavior was easier to change than I had initially perceived. Sometimes a certain level of dichotomy is important. What was holding me back the most was my need to seem both respectable to others and to remain consistent. I was living to please others but not necessarily myself. And I think this is the trap most people get caught in. The way I acted was based purely on the expectations of others and how people reacted to me. All of which caused me to act in specific ways consistent to these perceptions. Whether they were wrong or right, I was a product of society. WE are a product of society…

But can we change the way we act? Can one day we be the timid coward while the day after we are the gregarious hero? Absolutely! Just recently I found myself on a plane sitting next to a very attractive woman. Normally I would not make any attempt to talk to her. Instead I would choke down some peanuts and cloud myself in music from my Ipod. However, something had changed that made it all the easier. The realization that at any given moment I possessed the knowledge to be anyone I wanted. This meant that I didn’t have to be trapped by who I was currently. I was alone in a place where no one knew me. This I thought was beautiful! No one had any pre-conceived notions of me, especially this girl. I could literally be anyone I wished to be! So I was. And in turn I enjoyed a pleasant and deep conversation with her. I had no image to maintain only an image to create.

So what does this tell you in regards to human nature? The problem with staying in any one place too long is that we become trapped in ourselves. We stay consistent with how we are expected to act in front of people we are familiar with. We submit to others and become afraid of being someone new. Even if who we are is someone we do not want to be. It’s not that people are stubborn and don’t like change. It’s that society has a very powerful influence that prevents us from changing.

So why not define ourselves through our self? Not through perceptions of others. If you are quiet be loud, if you are unhappy be happy, if you are reserved be crazy! Your mind is the only think holding you back.

We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society. -Judith Martin

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